I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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