Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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