I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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