you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize