Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
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It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
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I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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