I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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