i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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