Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
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That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
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And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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