i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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