I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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