I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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