During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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