At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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