I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
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Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
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Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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