Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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