If i come over, it means nothing
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize