Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
