what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
