just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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