so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
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My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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