Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
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or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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