I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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