I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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