things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize