I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
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Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
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So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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