I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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