Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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