I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
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Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
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He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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