I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize