there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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