Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
try to milk me bitch
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