If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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