drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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