i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize