Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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