in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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