i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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