yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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