Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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