I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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