He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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