winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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