i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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