she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Someone signed my nipple.
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