I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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