Only a mothe r could love this liver
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize