I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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