Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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