i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize