NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
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my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
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Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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