my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
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Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
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You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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