she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize