How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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